Friday, April 28, 2006

Cycling while intoxicated

So I'm on this little health kick. I'm riding my bike, instead of driving, (weather permitting) to the studio. Yesterday was a beautiful and brisk day....sunny in the high 50s-60s so I rode to the studio. After working I decided to go out for a drink or two. I got to Fat Bob's at around 9-ish and settled in. At around 10:30 the place was taken over by a little party of lawyers and soon-to-be-lawyers. They were all dressed up which was funny to see given where they were. Fat Bob's is a Smokehouse restaurant and bar. I love it there, but it's not the first place to jump into my mind when I think formal after party.

Anyway, more drinks were had and shots, of course accompanied them. It got to be around 12:30 or so when I decided that it would be in my best interest to head home. It was fucking cold, which was good, because it gave me some clarity that I quickly found out that I sorely needed. Booze has some interesting effects on exercise. I got home without any trouble. It was only around an 8 mile trip, but around the fourth mile I could definitely smell vodka in my sweat.

Yes, my health kicks do involve mega doses of vitamin V.

Going back to Papaya tonight for more ridiculously cheap beer and ca-la-mar-i!!!

Monday, April 24, 2006

Weekend update.....not that anyone should give a crap.

Friday started out wonderfully. I left the studio a little after five (an especially early day for me), and headed downtown to Papaya. I called a few friends en route to see if they wanted to meet for a drink and/or snack. I had been jonesing for Papaya's calamari all day.........it's perfectly not fucked with. Lightly battered, tender, and served with a spicy/sweet dipping sauce. I got to the bar and ordered my first beer......poured perfectly into a frosted footed pilsner. All the friends that I called began calling me back to say that they wouldn't be out until later. It was just as well. I was enjoying the the easy conversation with my friends behind the bar. It was just sooooo relaxing, sipping an icy cold beer, eating the most perfect calamari around, and not having to say a goddamned thing. As I was finishing my first beer another was being poured into another frosty glass (Now that's fucking service!). I finished my snack and beer and paid my bill. Total (without tip of course) for two Sapporo's and the calamari.............$7.48. Oh yeah, sometimes living in Buffalo fucking rocks!

I sorta jumped from bar to bar for a while settling at Fat Bob's eventually....typical Friday. It was getting on to be around to be 1:30 or so and my friend said that she was hungry. We went next door to Mother's which is usually a good time, in that they serve their full menu until 3:00 AM. It wasn't fun at all. Our waiter sucked in every sense of the word. He was rude, our food was late, some of it wasn't even brought to the table, he never checked on us, and he never properly corrected the bill. Complete dick. I was paying with my credit card and was getting cash from my friends. My opinion was to leave this tool a tip of, say..........$0.17. My two friends who both work in the bar/restaurant business insisted that I leave the minimum 15%. I acquiesced, but on the back of the bill I wrote

"YOU SUCK"

My friend took the bill away from me put a single line through my message and began to write the douchebag a little note saying that he could have easily made a $20-$25 tip from our table if he would had just done the bare minimum. Sucky the Waiter shows up and sees the "you suck" on the bill and begins to yell, that's right yell, at my friend for writing something so childish. I interject, pointing out that I was the childish one, and that his tone pretty much established my comment as dead-on true. As we were leaving he loudly asked me the question "Is that what you do? You go around trying to make people feel bad about themselves?" I answered by saying "When they suck as much as you do, yes."

Apparently Sucky McDouchebag put in his two week notice the next day. Fuck him.

On Saturday I went to go see Conan O'Brien speak at the U of B. I had always liked him and found him very funny, and this experience solidified that opinion of him. He insisted on making it an interactive Q&A type o' deal, instead of the standard speaker monologue. This made it much more fun to see, especially since he used the poor moderator as a comic foil for most of the evening. He fielded questions about all facets of his career, a lot about his Simpons years and what to expect when he takes over the Tonight Show. Funny shit all the way around.

Sunday was my usual trip to see my friends in Hamburg, NY. I don't have HBO and watching the Sopranos with them is always more fun. I'm hoping that by the middle of this Summer instead of driving there, I'll be riding my bike. It will be about a 45 to 50 mile round trip but I think with a little conditioning I'll be able to do it. I'll save on gas and, barring a heart attack, I'll start to be less pudgy.

Today I decided to not got to the studio early and instead go hear Al Franken do his radio show live, from a renovated church (now a performance space) that is attached to Hallwalls Contemporary Art Center. The three hours went by very fast. It was a fun time. The crowd was in to it, and the space is amazing.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Things I don't give a shit about...part 1.

In no specific order.

1. Natalee Holloway Another dead blonde. A little course perhaps, but c'mon a girl disappeared. Why should it affect my life? Why can't I listen to the news without hearing about it. Is she the only kid to ever be abducted and killed? Is this the only news to be reported? Why is it that whenever a pretty white girl vanishes it's front page news for months? Fuck her and fuck her family! My little brain can only hold so much information and this dead blondes name is taking up space.

2. Duke University One of two things happened.....The stripper is lying or some douchebags raped a stripper. Either way, my mind reels at the thought of the amount of time and energy devoted to this case

3. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes I kinda wished she and Tom's spawn would have died in childbirth, and Tom in his "grief" would have killed himself. The sickening coverage of Hollywood's most manufactured family would have ended sooner, and the child would have been better off.

4. Donald Trump and the entire Trump Family/empire He is a shining example of the fact that money........even billions of dollars ........cannot buy one class.


....to be continued.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Buy this book!




Although the official release date isn't until May 1st it is available now on most online bookstores. I highly recommend it, not just because he's a good friend of mine, but because it's a great work of art. It's like those bird or wildflower identification books, but useful. It's funny too!
Buy one for yourself and it makes a perfect gift for those witty, sardonic types on your list!
So, once again, that's.......
The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America :A Guide to Field Identification
by
Julian Montague

Stuff

The studio feels strange and has so for the past week or two. This is one of the problems with working in a collective or co-op ish type of space. When someone else is having a bad day, it can have a profound effect on my work....or lack thereof, more specifically. I'm hardly the new-agey, aura feelin' type, but one person's bad energy can really fuck up a place. This is nothing that I need. I'm here for one reason alone, and that is to work. It's a studio for fuck sake!

I've been playing with the idea of getting a new studio. People say that change is good. I abhor it. My work changes on its own. It has its own course. Plus, I hate moving. I have a ton of shit. Besides my mechanic is walking distance, and the place that builds my canvas supports is right across the street. Still, I'm considering a move. I might need to be on my own. Even some of the other artists here have said that the place needs me more than I need it. I'm not sure if I agree, but it was nice to hear. I've recently found some interesting options, affordable ones. I think the spaces are kinda rough, but that really doesn't bother me. All I need is wall space, electricity, a sink, and a bathroom. I think I would have to construct the working walls (ie. do all of the drywalling) myself, but that's no big deal. I've done that shit before, and I'm a goddam Michelangelo with joint compound.

I've been getting a lot of (almost) overly positive response for the new work that I'm doing. People seem to be wetting themselves in front of the horizon painting. It's cool, but I have a hard time taking a compliment. I really love the work. It will sound awful, but this is the first time that I can see me working on a series for a very long time. The possibilities, for this work, truly seem endless.

A friend and I have some funny and offensive ideas for t-shirt designs. Their very simple and graphic, and funny as hell. They could potentially make us a little money if we get our acts together.

I'm still waiting on the mural for ECC city campus. From the language that was used it sounds like its definitely my job, but I never want to be that confident about anything. Other contractors still need to get their shit together before I can get paid and started on it. Slow-ass cocksuckers! I'm goin' broke here!!!

I finally got my taxes done today (one employer was a tiny bit tardy with my 1099). I FUCKING OWE MONEY! I hardly made any money last year. How do I owe?!? Self-employment tax my ass!!!