My cat's been scanned

I've never had one done before, and it was kinda neat. I gotta be honest I was a little unnerved by getting a CT scan done in the first place, even though they are routine as hell. Maybe it was because I had it done in the same hospital that my Mom died in, and in my book that makes them 0 for 1 with members of my family.............but I digress (for an interesting change of pace).

I had finished off the banana-flavored barium colada earlier in the morning and showed up at the hospital a little early. The whole process from check-in to pull-up-your-pants-sir was less than an hour and a half, to my astonishment. The staff was really cool and friendly and took my sarcasm and cynicism surprisingly well. They gave me an I.V. to...................um, I'm not 100% sure........activate the barium?.........whatever. The nurse told me it was going to feel warm..............HOLY SHIT!!!! She wasn't kidding! This really cool internal heat hit my shoulder then my throat. It made its way to my heart and once there shot immediately to my.............um.........well......cock. I swear, if I had to piss even the tiniest bit, I would have let loose. My God it felt great! All together it wasn't a bad experience. While the test was going on I didn't hear the dreaded words "hmmm that looks interesting" or "What the fuck is that growing in your small intestine?" or "Holy shit! Guys, you gotta come and see this freak!"

So now I wait until the seventh to find out that there really isn't anything wrong with my liver, but unfortunately they detected a rare form of intestinal cancer......................I dunno, is that being pessimistic?

Work is going well, sorta. I wasted all of my time at the studio yesterday. I was useless. It was as if I had forgotten how to paint. Everything I touched turned to shit, and I spent most of my time fixing mistakes that I was making. Not wanting to surrender to this futility, I ended up staying at the studio until after midnight. Ugh! What a waste of fucking time. The one good thing is that I came up with an idea for another painting.

The problem is with the raindrop painting. I think I left it before it was really done. I moved on and painted other things (the lake horizon) so much better, and more in line with the way I was thinking. Now I have to go back and either re-think it, re-do it, or completely trash it. I know I know.........what's the big deal? It's only a painting. In the great scheme of things it doesn't matter one bit. It's just the thought of months of work going for nothing that bothers me, and I know myself I won't let it happen. I'll end up spending months trying to fix it. It's funny, I usually give up on things so easily, especially if there are many failures along the way, but I can never give up on a painting. Is that some dopey shit or what?