The opposite of 'tis?............................TAINT!

'Twas an interesting weekend. Well, not so much interesting as it was long. There was an art opening at my art studio (did I ever mention that there are over forty artists in the studio....and we have two galleries www.buffaloartsstudio.org if you give a fuck. There's images of three of my paintings and a poorly written description of me that I haven't cared enough about to change)

Anyway, the opening went off without too much fanfare. Previous to the opening I was lucky enough to catch a ride with my friend Rob (also an artist in the studio and damn stellar drummer) to get provisions (read: Vodka) for the evening. This made the evening much more enjoyable. After the opening (and, yes I'm giggling because I keep saying "opening") I went to my friends 50th birthday party at his place.

This is where the evening takes a fun turn.

My birthday friend's girlfriend wanted to hook me up with one of her friends. Usually I'm greatly opposed to this kind of situation, but I didn't have a choice in the matter. She was really cute, sarcastic and talkative. I thought I completely ruined any chance for even a conversation with her when, on our way up a ladder to the roof of my friend's place, I kept, accidentally, kicking her in the face (Am I fucking smooth, or what?!?) Well, thanks to my best friend (red wine) I became a much more charming person, in her eyes at least.

Didn't do shit on Sunday. No Football? No Hockey? What the fuck?!?!

The new paintings are coming along relatively well. We'll see how work goes tonight. I' m going to start a series of smaller paintings 2'x2'. I'm almost as excited for them as I am for the one's that I've already started. Both series are very different, but they both deal with things that we see but don't pay attention to. Ooooooooooooooooh! I'm soooo fucking deep!

Motivation

Yeah! I ain't got none of that. This is bullshit! I'm bullshit!!! I finally have my studio back, with time to work on stuff, and it's as if someone unplugged me. I've been standing in front of my latest painting, that I'm working on and..................there's nothing there. BULLSHIT!!!!


I gotta force myself to get going.


It's kinda funny. In many ways I'm very similar to my car. Not much to look at, but distinctive in a quirky way. Reliable (usually). Sometimes difficult to get started, but once going, works perfectly.

The problem is..............I desperately want to paint, but by head's not in it......Fucker. Maybe I gotta do some mindless shit like stretch canvasses or something. Something so I'm not wasting too much time.

My next work is going to be so much fun! Most of it is already done in my head and all I have to do is paint the shit.........easy, right? But nooooooooooooooooo! I gotta be retarded.

What a Fucker I am!

Friday night quickly turned into Monday morning!

Zoinks! What a weekend, at least the parts that I remember. Details would bore anyone but me, besides most things are rather fuzzy. The more interesting parts happened at a house warming party on Saturday night. My friend who, along with his wife hosted the party, has a book coming out this Spring. He is also an artist, and if it weren't for the fact that he's so fucking good at what he does or that he is genuinely a great guy, I would be dying of jealousy (because I'm that shallow)...........In the words of Gore Vidal (I believe) "Every time a friend succeeds, I die inside."

Seriously though, I hype his work wherever I go, not that it needs it. www.montagueprojects.com Look at it. It's cool shit.

Also, a local paper "The Beast" finally came out with there 2005 year in review (yeah, just a little late). It's online at www.buffalobeast.com Their 50 Most Loathsome People in America is some funny fucking shit!!!

I heart booze!

Yep, it's Friday, but this time I'm not spending the evening in the studio, that's for damn sure. Aside from the fact that I don't have anything to work on..................I'm fucking burned out! Shit, I had to go and touch up the mural earlier. The paint didn't have enough time to cure properly and in hanging the mural we ended up scraping of some sections, nothing too bad though. It was unavoidable. I probably could have gotten away with just leaving it, nobody who saw it noticed any of the small sections that we damaged......................I wouldn't have felt right doing that though.

Look at me, all ethical!

I'm gonna help me to some large doses of creativity juice and mega doses of Vitamin-V. Is being a drunk artist too much of a cliche'?

Fuck it! I'm gonna wear it like a crown tonight.

False alarm! False alarm!

Had to cancel the "date". I'm going to be covered in contact cement until at least 8pm hanging the mural that I just finished, and she has a 6am flight to Connecticut tomorrow. Thus we would have had an evening that lasted about 2 hours, and rushing is no fun. So, we have to reschedule, and I can obsess about this again in a week or so.....Goody Goody Goody!!!!!

Other than that........................I got nuthin'......................for an interesting change of pace.

On a happier note........I HAVE MY STUDIO BACK!!!!!! I can't wait to get things back in order and get back to work on my shit. Nothing stirs my imagination for new works more than being stuck doing a money-making project for a couple of weeks. I have a bunch of new ideas for paintings that I want to test out. Hopefully most of them won't suck ass..................you know, in the bad way.

I think I'm going on a date tomorrow

At least I think it's a date. I've gone out with her once before but it was more of a "get to know ya" type of thing. We only met out for a drink and then went to an art opening that I had to go to. She seemed.....................normal (a shocking departure for me), funny, extraordinarily sarcastic (good thing), Oh and she can pound a pint of beer in less than six seconds!!! Not bad for a girl that's only 5'2". Yeah and she's really cute. You want to put her in your pocket.

Anyway, that was Saturday. Apparently I didn't scare her off cuz we're going out tomorrow. I think it's a date.

My biggest fucking problem (...and I have catalogued well over 1100 of them) is that I fall into the "friend trap" way too easily. I can get along well with anyone, and it's very hard for me to tell if someone is interested. Seriously, nothing short of dry-humping will get that signal across to me. I'm probably better of not thinking that it's not a date, because that way it probably will be one. It's fucking annoying. It's as if I'm back in 8th grade, for fuck sake. Maybe it's because I don't date that much (because I find it so fucking annoying.........Problem #418). Sure, I'm good at painting about this shit, but dealing with it myself...................I'm a fucking douche (Problem #63).

Over-thinking it? (Problem #3) Probably.

Ah, to hell with it! I'm just gonna go and enjoy the evening (probably).

Three days of not doin' shit

Starting today MLK2 2K6. The mural's done and slowly drying on my studio wall, which is good thing. The only problem, it's taking up all of my fucking space. To do the mural I took everything off of on wall and essentially shoved everything that was on the floor to the opposite side of the room, so I would have room to work. I can't take the mural down yet (still wet) and there's no room for me to work on the other wall, so I'm kinda stuck. I knew this this morning and I still came to the studio. I feel guilty not getting here every day..................it's a fucking sickness. All I've done today is stare at the mural and pace around my work table several dozen times. It'll all be over Thursday. I hang the mural, get my check and get back to work.

I have to go and get another blood test. As it turns out, according to my doctor............................my cholesterol-----elevated but relatively normal, my liver function----surprisingly robust, my blood sugar-----defying rational explanation, normal!

HOWEVER, I apparently have a strange, little blood disorder. I absorb iron at an accelerated rate which causes me to...now get this...................PRODUCE TO MUCH BLOOD. The only course of action...now get this...............IS TO BE BLED! Kind of freaky, but nothing too alarming. He said it's something that's not detected in people until their fifties. He laughed when he saw that one of the things I'm supposed to avoid is alcohol, because we both know that's not an option. I asked my doctor if I could just give blood once a month. He said if it turns out that I actually have this shit that I could feasibly give blood once a fucking week. To hell with the red cross I'm selling my shit on ebay. How much do you get for donating plasma? All this time I thought I was poor and here I am with gallons of red gold squirting through my veins, and I'm creating an endless supply!!!!

So I gotta go for another test to see if I really have this shit. I'm torn between wanting it, just cuz it's kinda freaky, and not wanting it because it might end up being just another hassle................................because above all else I'm a lazy shit.

Mural's done and I'm a graduate school applicant

How quickly shit can change in only one day. I finished the mural at around 9-ish then spent the rest of the night writing my bullshit essay for school (more on that later). I got to bed at around 3:30-esque, woke up, got my shit together and sent my application on it's way. It's a motherfucking relief. Now I just have to wait a week, to let the mural dry and then I can take it down and get back to work on my shit. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Essay
Sweet fuck, what a pain in the ass! I swear I was pulling penguins out of my ass writing that thing. It such bullshit. I hate writing about my work. It just seems so pointless. I feel like such a douche, giving my work that kind of importance. Don't get me wrong, it is important, but it's meant to be seen, not read about. If I talk about it, I'm very plain, plus I can say shit and fuck and douche. They don't like that in the accademic world apparently. I even hate reading other artists' statements. Mostly because they describe their work with these grand flowery statements that essentially mean nothing. It's just artistic doubletalk. In my opinion, art is like humor, if it has to be described, it's not that good. I'll grant that art is much more difficult to grasp, sometimes, than humor, but if given enough time anyone can understand the most complex work of art................assuming it's good to begin with. If it's crap, it's crap and no amount of critical essays will change that.

Unfortunately I had to wade into the dark swampy waters of artspeak, to write the essay. Eventhough I didn't go to far with it I still feel a little dirty, like I need a second or third shower.

Fantastic time waster

www.fabrica.it/flipbook/

I wasted almost an hour and a half on this. Fuck it was fun. It reminded me of drawing these things while not paying attention in school.

Yeah, that's all I got today. I'm boring.

Friday night

Here it is Six o'clock on a Friday evening and I'm still in the studio. There's half of me that's screaming to get out and go to one of three happy hours, but yet I'm still here. I'll probably still be here at nine o'clock. Although I know it's a good thing (I have a lot of work to do), I still have the feeling that I'm missing something. Although there are few, if any, places that I would rather be than my studio, it's very isolating. The funny thing is my studio is in essentially a co-op of 45 artists. I'm the only one here right now. Where the fuck is everybody else? You call yourselves artists. Am I the only one with this much dedication or am I the only one without any other life?

Fuck! That's a sobering thought.

My studio is in a huge converted industrial building. It was originally a Ford plant (they built model A's here). Usually mine is the last car in the parking lot. I sometimes feel a little proud when that happens, although I'm not exactly sure why. Right about now, and especially on weekends this giant building is nearly empty. There are probably no more than six or seven people in here right now. The silence is deafening. It can get kinda creepy................in a good way.

Don't get me wrong, after I'm done working I'm going out. My inspiration tank is on empty and I'm in deep need of some vitamin-V.

I can't wait for the mural to be finished.

Thankful

Sometimes I feel extremely lucky. It's hardly ever apparent, but it's true. I feel especially lucky to have the friends that I do. Let's face it I'm a self-important, lazy, pudgy fuck with a tad of painting talent and a wee bit o' wit. I'm amazed that, somehow, I've attracted the friends that I have.

I was in a relatively bad mood today (nothing major, just the "I haven't seen the sun in 13 days kind of blahs"). Before venturing to the studio I went to see a couple friends of mine. Without them doing anything in particular, they just put me into a good mood. I don't know what it was. Sometimes I feel that I take them (meaning all my friends) for granted, and for that I am sorry.

OK this is sounding a little too sappy and gay.

BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES, CUNT, TWAT, GASH, MEAT WALLET, MEAT WALLET, CLAM STRIPS, B-O-G-I-N-A!

........Ahh that feels better. Now I gotta go to work.

Ugh! I got nuthin'!

Work on the mural has gone unexpectedly smooth so far. So well, in fact, that for the time being I don't have anything to work on.............................Once again I am in a position to actually HAVE to watch paint dry. I gotta tell ya............it's just as fucking boring as everyone has always said.

I figured I'd write a little, to pass the time.

I'm actually going to go through with the whole "applying for school" thing (shudder shudder shudder). I have to write a letter of intent for the application. What kind of bullshit is that?!?! I'm trying to get my masters in fine arts! What do they expect me to write? I suppose I have to give them some bullshit about what my goals for school are. In reality my only goals are to create two years of work that are better than the previous two, and to get my degree so I too can be a professor and impart my great wealth of art making knowledge to the rest of the world. In reality my great wealth of knowledge could be inscribed onto a postage stamp, sure it would be one of those big $3.00 commemorative stamps.............but it's still just a stamp.

It would really be funny if (a.) I wasn't even considered for the fellowship (b.) didn't get a t.a. position, and (c.) I wasn't even accepted. Although (c.) is highly unlikely, it still looms in my head a possibility. Hopefully the fact that I've making art and making a living (although a meager one)at it for the last eight years will carry some weight.

Regarding school, I did find out some good news........................my application isn't due until the 13th of January. I thought it was due the 7th! To think I almost had everything done already, and I was worried that I would run out of time.

PROCRASTINATION ROCKS!!!!

I gotta go see if my paint's dry.